I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in some serious need of perspective lately. From politics to pampers, my world has been pretty crazy these past couple of weeks (hence the late posting once again) and I have felt like I have been going crazy with it. There have been multiple moments where it seems that my mayhem is definitely not miraculous and is more like a meaningless mess that is moving me quickly toward madness more than anything else (loving all of those m’s).
If I allowed myself to stay in this state of mind reflected when my mayhem leads to madness, I would give into the lies that tell me “this will never change,” “I will never be valued or loved or cherished,” “everything and everyone is against me,” and “none of this is worth it.” You probably know your own lies that get you when you are down… they sneak in and distort your vision like an old, comfortable but incredibly scratched, damaged, and for the most part, ineffective pair of sunglasses. They might keep your eyes shaded from the sun, but actually getting anything accomplished without being able to see clearly is questionable. I get the false sense of being able to still “see” but my vision is disturbed and I may not always be able to accurately see what is in front of me or appropriately interpret what is taking place. I was definitely wearing these glasses at the end of February; no matter what I did, the mayhem had become the master, and I was a complete mess.
And while I could justify all of the above and spend this entire post complaining or throwing myself a pity party (which does happen from time to time), the TRUTH of the matter is that what I really needed was a good, healthy dose of new perspective. I needed a new set of glasses, a pair free from damage, clear of scratches, still effective at keeping out the sun but also allowing me to see clearly the things before me. And this is exactly what Days 1-7 of our readings were for me. A cleansing of sorts, the truths Rick presented and discussed spoke deep to my soul and provided the perspective from which to understand all that was happening and make sense of it all. I am guessing if you are reading this… that maybe you could use some new perspective too (and if not, all his points are still great reminders 🙂 ).
Whenever I think about the word perspective, I automatically see the food critic from the Disney movie Ratatouille, a movie about an aspiring chef who is trying to follow his dreams but also is battling the slight obstacle of being a rat (apparently I am a bigger movie buff than I thought 🙂 ). The food critic, whose name evades me, was renowned for writing horrific reviews even on good food, and having the highest of standards but in a bad way. He is considered one of the movie’s main antagonists, as he seeks to shut down the restaurant, mainly out of bitterness and pride and power instead of being truly about the food. In one of the scenes, he talks about the importance of perspective, and how all of a sudden he changed his mind about the food because his view had changed. Upon eating the special ratatouille dish, he immediately thought of a happy memory, his crazy critical personality melted, and he became happy for the first time in a long time. His perspective had changed, and along with it so did his interpretation, his attitude, his demeanor, and really the rest of his self.
In this first set of readings, Rick offers us an opportunity to change our perspective (and likewise, our interpretations, attitudes, demeanors, and selfs) by introducing a variety of truths. I want to highlight a few of these truths that really stood out to me (although each day was like a smack in the face/breath of fresh air with the equally important truths 🙂 ) and expand upon them for a moment:
- ITS NOT ABOUT YOU (or ME).
#truth. Yes, I just did a # and word as a sentence, but it was so worth it and it is so true. When was the last time someone stopped you and said: “Hey DUDE (sorry I live in a house of nothing but dudes)… ITS NOT ABOUT YOU.” I can tell you it is not very often for me, and that is probably because I would respond with an attitude or a punch or something in the negative. Fortunately, Rick decided to remind me in words and was not available for me to lash out at, and so I had time to let the statement sink in and speak to me before I reacted defensively. And when I really thought about it, this was exactly what I needed to hear.
Why? Because when I am operating from the view that it is “all about me” there is a huge amount of pressure on me and everyone/everything else around me. Everything begins and ends with me, it has to be perfect, everything has to meet my expectations (mainly myself and I am my own worst enemy), and when it all falls apart, it is all my fault. See all the me in that??? UGH! And this is when my mayhem gets me the most, because all of a sudden it appears that it is all about me and I am the center of everything and eventually I cannot handle it all anymore.
The TRUTH though is that (thankfully) it is not all about me (we will address what it is all about in the next point) because there was someone/something that existed before me (and you) and created me (and you). There is something bigger than me, something that can handle this world and its mayhem because He is miraculous, and does not enter into the same madness I do when it all goes awry. He knows me inside and out (I love the example Rick discusses of the Inventor knowing all the secrets of how to best use the invention; yes, this applies to us as well) and I can rest/find relief when the attention gets off of me and onto Him. What does the children’s song tell us: He has the whole world (including me and you) in His hands? This leads us right into our next point: If its not all about you (me), then it is all about Him.
- ITS ALL ABOUT HIM (which is cool, because He is all about you/me).
When I get caught in the “it’s all about me” trap described above, it is never good. While it might feel ok in the beginning, and sometimes even nice to be the center of attention at times, when I try to do it all, be it all, and have it all, I am always disappointed and quite honestly, it usually leads to severe personal and sometimes, professional distress.
However, when we shift our focus from being all about us to being all about Him, we start to realize that there is more to life than just what we want or what we do or how well we do it. We see that He has a plan, both for us and for others, and we play a pivotal role as we interact with Him and the things He puts in our path. While we are still held responsible for living and moving and obeying, we rightfully see Him as ultimately in control, ultimately responsible, and ultimately powerful. We can rely on Him, depend on Him, look to Him, trust Him, and expect good things from Him. He takes on the many pressures described above without ever tiring or weakening, and He has the power to miraculously master our mayhem (AMEN!).
This does not mean that we become nothing or meaningless or unthinking natives that just thoughtlessly worship without value or worth (my strong will often balks at the idea of making it all about Him for this incorrect but very valid concern). It is actually the exact opposite because we get caught in a positive, healthy, valuing cycle when we make it all about Him. Unlike the human relationships we know that can be healthy at times but will at some point be selfish and hurtful, a relationship with a perfect God means from His end, it will always be perfect. And this means, in true healthy relationship form, we can be ALL ABOUT HIM without concern, because He is ALL ABOUT US.
Read that again: HE IS ALL ABOUT US. We do not have to worry about anything at all because He does that for us. For Him, it is all about us: everything He has done since the creation of the world has been to show us His love and to take care of us. He created a place for us to live and grow, He gave us cool pets and friends and lovers and the ability to experience relationship and work and joy and excitement. And when we allowed sin and pain and death to enter the world, He made a way then too with forgiveness and reconciliation and hope. wow. He tells us not to worry because He will provide for us, He tells us not to fear because He protects us, He tells us not to take on everything and to exchange our loads because He can carry us, He tells us that He loves us with an everlasting love and has made a way for us in eternity… From start to finish, beginning to end, He is all about us. And for that very reason, even in writing this, I cannot help but want to be all about Him too (I just really need to remember this when I am in the midst of everything else!!).
- OUR PERSPECTIVE OF ALL OF THIS IS EVERYTHING.
Wow. If it is really not about me and all about Him, then as I said before, I am in great need of a change of view/perspective. I am not sure if Rick realized this or not when he was writing Days 1-7, but it appears to me that this first set of readings is really about how important this perspective is and discerning and deciding what glasses we want to wear to view our lives on a daily basis. Think of it this way: When we were born, we were given a pair of spiritual glasses with which we can view the world. They protect our soul, provide a filter for what goes in and out, and determine how we “see” the things around us (yes, I know I discussed this a little bit above). However, as we age and live through multiple events and experiences, these glasses become affected. Sin creeps in and distorts our view, lies and irrational beliefs crack and scratch the glass, and sometimes, we even come to believe that we HAVE to wear these glasses at all times or else something bad will happen. These glasses take on the “its all about me” mentality and everything we attempt to do and see is directly influenced.
The main point: when we wear our innate glasses, we cannot see clearly, and as you know when you physically cannot see clearly (try driving a car or hiking a trail without being able to see clearly), we are rendered ineffective and miserable (and possibly even destructive to ourselves and others).
Fortunately, God knew that our glasses would get messed up by the mayhem all around us, and so He offers a new pair of glasses that have an eternal lifetime warranty and that are protected from all dust, drops, water, and any damage you can ever think of. They are the Lifeproof of glasses because they are backed/guaranteed by the absolute truth of who He is and His word. And even better, these glasses are free… we just have to take off the ones we are wearing and put these on instead. Like Cinderella’s slipper, these new glasses will always be a perfect fit, and allow us to see beyond the things of this world and beyond with clarity, understanding, and truth. They are coated in the truths above, and when we put them on, we can see that its not about us, it is all about Him, and that there is more to life than what we are experiencing in the here and now. Sounds good doesn’t it?! It sure does to me!!!
How does this apply to me?
It is no coincidence that I was reading each of these truths on those exact days when I was struggling. My heart, my mind, my soul, and my sanity all desperately needed the reframes of Rick’s interpretations of Christ’s words. Why? Because even though I know about the cool glasses God gave me (described above) and I have worn them for years, every now and then I set them down and pick up my old glasses instead. And I bet that you do too.
There is something about us humans that when things get rough, we look for comfort everywhere but the true, healthy source. We put on our old glasses, our old ways of thinking, because its what we know its what we are most used to, and it “feels” right in the moment even if it is not good for us in the long run. In the developmental world, we call this a regression, and we see it all the time with young children who have experienced some sort of crisis. For instance, when a new sibling is added to the family, there is often a regression of sorts: a previously potty-trained child starts having accidents again, a seemingly well-mannered child begins having tantrums again, and/or a previously all-night sleeper starts waking at night. All of these are considered normal because their little bodies revert to a previous time in which they have prior experience in order to regain attention and remaster the obstacle, thus promoting themselves amidst the chaos. It makes sense to me that even as adults we would do the same thing, just in a more abstract manner (I have yet to revert to not being potty-trained due to my mayhem, although I guess it is not outside the realm of possibilities 😉 ). So, we put on our old glasses because even though we know they aren’t helpful and we know we have moved on, we long for the false comfort of the familiar, the attention that even the negative brings, and a sense of mastery if and when we can overcome them once again.
But as we saw in this week’s readings and the main truths, as we mature and grow into adulthood, there should come a point when we make the choice not to regress and instead be intentional about how we choose to see the world. It really is all about our perspective and intentionally determining which pair of glasses we are going to wear. I will not lie: I wore those comfy glasses for a couple weeks last month. AND IT WAS HORRIBLE. I got to the point where I was dreading just about every moment of my day, and all I wanted to do was stay in bed and hide (FYI: this is different from clinical depression where someone does stay in bed and hides due to legitimate mental health concerns; I just felt like it but still was able to get up and function). I wanted everyone and everything to leave me alone, and I was definitely not fun to be around for my husband, my sons, or even my friends (although I am so thankful they stuck it out with me!).
Fortunately, as we have seen above, God has given me an alternative, a choice to wear the free gifted glasses that allow me to see the world through His eyes, and look for the miraculous among the mayhem. To see that when Liam goes for week 3 of his nap-strike, I can be overwhelmingly grateful that he has healthy lungs to scream, and an operating mind that is keeping him awake; to recognize that even though my husband has cancelled on me for the millionth time, it is because he is working hard at an important job that pays our bills and allows me to hang out with our boys and do things like write this blog; to reframe my momentary cough and flu-like sickness as being legitimately temporary, not life-threatening, and in the scheme of things, while frustrating, really not a big deal. When I put things into proper perspective (as my sister so kindly reminds me all the time with the picture she made me captured in the graphic above that is currently displayed on my desk), my mayhem seems much more manageable and even… dare I say it, a tad miraculous?? 🙂
Our Weekly Challenge:
I bet you know what’s coming 🙂 Big question for this week:
WHAT GLASSES ARE YOU WEARING???
Are you wearing the old comfy pair that may feel nice in the moment because they are broken in but you cannot see a thing because they are dented and scratched and dirty? Are you exhausted because no matter how hard you try, you just cannot seem to clearly see or complete even the simplest tasks because your vision is impaired? And honestly, sometimes its nice to hide behind the excuse of not being able to see because then you don’t really have to do anything?
Or are you wearing your crystal clear, eternally guaranteed glasses and you can actually see what is in front of you, see the truth, and actually complete the tasks set before you? Not only can you see what is there (even if it is not pretty or appears impossible), but you can also see beyond that to the meaning and truth involved in eternity, which provides faith and hope?
My challenge to you this week is to answer this question honestly and really determine how you are currently seeing the world. For me, it is how I see my family. I know I have taken off my new glasses and exchanged them for the old when I start dreading my mothering tasks… when Liam’s crying becomes nails on a chalkboard instead of an opportunity to love him with the love in my heart and Gavin’s constant “why” sparks annoyance rather than my own sense of curiosity. For you, it might be dreading another day of work at the office… because the tasks are mundane or the co-workers are annoying or the toxicity of the environment has permanently colored the lens of those old human glasses. Or you might notice it in a friendship or marriage relationship, when you begin dreading any and all interactions and the thought of even being in the same room as the other person fills you with anger or bitterness or anxiety and you are just plain done with trying again.
If this is you (and obviously it was me too), then I encourage you to review this post again, review days 1-7 again, and write out the truths that set you free from the tainted views above. Take off those old glasses… and trade them in for a pair that will never fade, never break, never distort what is in front of you. Put on that new pair of glasses, take a good look, change your view, and embrace a new perspective.♥