Secret Three: Obeying aka “Actions Speak Louder than Words”

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So far in this teeny tiny little book, we’ve discussed some really big truths for our lives. First, we discussed the existential controversy of why we are here, and resolved that we were created on purpose with a purpose: to bear fruit. Then, we explored the how of fruit bearing: in that to truly bear fruit and be productive in living out this purpose, we must get as close as we can to our Creator (through Christ) and abide in Him.  And while we were given four ways to abide (meditation, prayer, confession, and focused intent), there is a secret even to this practice that we must harness as well if we truly want to abide and bear fruit: we must learn to obey.

I don’t know about you, but the word obey sparks an explosion of reactions within me. First, my innate reaction is to rebel (yes, this is completely true of me believe it or not) as I am the epitome of being strong-willed. When someone tells me to do something (without asking or suggesting instead), my first desire is to determine what I want to do (regardless of why or what they said). This is definitely something I have had to learn how to tame throughout the years to live in peace with the important people in my life, like parents and husband, and even bosses (which is why I tend to work better self-employed LOL).

However, I am getting to know this whole world of “obey” from a different angle now that I am a parent. So, once I get past my initial gut reaction, my second reaction is a mixture of frustration and desire. I seriously must say the words “listen and obey” about a million times everyday. And each time I have to give the reminder, I get just a little more frustrated. Yet, I yearn so badly for my littles to obey because most often (like 99.9% of the time) I do actually know what is best for them and am instructing them out of love. And while I understand the bend to rebel and disobey that obviously comes naturally to them, I desperately want them to know the good and safe and amazing things the world (and Mommy) has to offer when they obey. I envision that this is also how God feels as he tries to guide and direct us on His path that has His best for us.

One of the biggest lessons I am trying to get across right now when it comes to obedience, both to myself and my kiddos, is that how we behave really matters in the big scheme of things. You may say you want to listen and you understand that it is time to pick up your toys and get ready for lunch, but if you do not choose to obey and actually follow-through with your behavior, then you are going to end up back in time out. You may say that you want to listen to the doctor and you understand that it is time to start eating a little differently and exercising a little more, but if you choose not to obey and actually follow-through with your behavior, then your health is just going to keep declining. I bet you can see where I am going with this:

You may say you want to bear fruit and you understand that this means taking the time and effort to abide and get as close to Him as possible, but if you do not choose to obey and actually follow-through with your behavior, then you will stay exactly where you are or even worst, move in a direction that is even less productive and further away from where you want to be.

In each of these situations (and I am sure you can think of many many more), there is something we are aware we should do (that is not unrealistic or unhealthy), we are aware of what it takes to do it (and actually want to do it), but it is in the follow-through or obedience that the something actually happens. In essence, when we do or do not choose to obey, our actions speak louder than our words.

Our Actions Speak Louder than Words

This has to be one of my favorite little cliche sayings of all times (I am not joking)  both personally and professionally because it is so incredibly true and applies to most situations. And like with most truth, there usually comes a love/hate relationship (so if you do not like this saying, I do understand). For me, it is “love” because I am all about my actions lining up with my words, and making sure that what I do is a reflection of who I am.  If I want to be a “good” wife, then my actions should reflect that intent (with some margin of error LOL). If I want to love my children, then the way I interact with them should reflect this love (again with that small margin LOL). If I want to be a good professor, then the way I grade and respond to my learners should reflect this endeavor.  Similarly, when it comes to abiding and doing all that it takes to truly abide, we are given two options that show by our actions more than our words our true intent: to obey or disobey.

Our natural, human bend is towards disobedience (even if you are not strong-willed like me, your flesh is still imperfect and will move towards disobedience at times). Disobedience happens when we know what we ought to do (and I am not talking unrealistic or unhealthy “should’s” in our life) and we purposefully choose to go our own way.  We observe this process as even the sweetest, most mild babies morph before our very eyes into screaming, tantruming toddlers that all go through the “mine” stage, the “that’s not fair” stage, and the “let me see how far I can press you stage.” And even some adults, like my admission above, struggle daily with disobedience and its awful consequences.

As we all quickly learn, from toddler to adult, disobedience typically results in both inner and outer distress. While there may be momentary pleasure in the excitement of rebellion, this is only temporary, especially if you get caught. From the original act of disobedience in the garden, which if you remember correctly destroyed perfection and brought death and destruction to our world (just a little ripple right?!), we humans have sought to do things our own way, instead of the obedient way, and have to endure the consequences that come with those actions.  Even little acts of disobedience, like disobeying the speed limit by just 5 miles can result in a ticket, a fine, points on your license, and in rare cases, jail, depending on the nature and context of your offense (not to mention the inner distress of the shame when you have to tell your parents or spouse). And while there are exceptions to every rule, and some acts of disobedience to man made laws are acceptable out of obedience to a higher law (like Daniel continuing to pray even though it was against the law), even these acts of disobedience usually are met with painful consequences (like the lion’s den). Disobedience always has something negative that comes with it, even if done for the right reasons.

In stark contrast, although sometimes with a true struggle, obedience provides the opportunity for health and growth and peace from the inside out. Even though it might not always be easy, choosing to obey always has something positive that comes with it. Obedience, as Warren describes, is submitting our will (our way) to God (p.56). It goes beyond just giving Him our thoughts and feelings, beyond knowing about the world and how to operate in a healthy way within it, to actually DOING those things. It means looking to Him for guidance and direction, and then following-through with what we are instructed. In most cases, when we obey, we experience beautiful results. Just imagine if Adam and Eve had actually obeyed their one rule and not taken that taste; I would probably not be writing this blog but hey, I would be hanging out in Eden and that honestly sounds like a lot more fun.

Whereas obedience does not always ensure outward positive results, such as the many Biblical examples of Paul in prison, Daniel in the lion’s den, Shadrach in the fiery furnace, and even Christ on the cross, I have no doubt that these men experienced an inner peace and health and steadfastness knowing that they were doing the right thing, and that their obedience was showing in their actions. I know that even when I have chosen to obey and the outer context was not so great, the inner victory was so rewarding that it outweighed any of the negatives. Although obeying is not always my favorite, the inner feelings of obedience are always worth it in the end.

Bottom line: Whether you choose obedience or disobedience, you can be sure that your actions will make it loud and clear no matter what your words or intentions say.

How does this apply to me?

When our actions speak louder than our words, it allows us to see what really matters to us. It shows to all the world what we care about, what we want, and who we really are regardless of what we might say or how we might describe ourselves. We all know someone who knows and says all the right things, but then turns around and acts in a completely different way. And to be honest, we all have moments like this in our own lives, which is why understanding the secret of obedience, even as adults, is so important.

I was really challenged on this point at the end of last year/beginning of this year. Not by any one thing in particular, but by the prompting of the Holy Spirit and my own self as I reviewed the ending of 2015 and prepared for the beginning of 2016. In spending time with the Lord and reflecting on the course of 2015, I realized that there were things I had been talking about for years that were just not happening in reality. I would express these desires and callings both internally and externally, but there were just never any actions to go along with them. I can give you all of my justifications for the why behind the non-action: partly out of the fear of the unknown/failure, partly out of creating a routine of mismanaged time, partly out of selfishness and laziness, and mostly out of a whole lot of procrastination.

But to be brutally honest, no matter the reasons above, my life at that time had really lapsed into a pattern of disobedience because I knew what God was calling me to do with my time, my giftings, my health, my finances, and with my life and I just kept doing what I wanted to do instead and hating the results: I was bored, in debt, unhealthy, stagnant and BLAH.

And all of a sudden I realized: I did not like that my actions were speaking things I did not want them to say.

So, I decided to do something about it (hence this blog now exists 🙂 ). I decided to try something new and embrace obedience no matter the cost. I focused in on 2016 as a year of intention and discipline and set out to let my actions truly reflect who I want to be, what I want to do, and how I want to do it. I took it one step at a time (still am) and started with seeking first things first: God, what do you want for me in these next few moments, next few days, next few months, and what is your plan for me to get there? How can I walk in obedience and move towards you, instead of disobeying and walking in my own way?

As I sought the answers to these questions through those four principles of abiding (prayer, meditation, confession, and focused intent), I harnessed and submitted my will to act on them as well. And the result: I feel like I am truly alive for the first time in a very long time. I am seeing God move in and around me each day (even on the difficult ones and yes, those still happen), I am learning something new on the regular (which I love), I am watching the acts of obedience build positive things all around me, and I wake up most days (not everyday just yet) with an excitement and a hope and an anticipation for the cool things that are going to happen.

And best of all, I love love love what my actions are speaking to the world around me.

Maybe you have come to that point as well. You know why you are here, you have a good idea of what or where or who God wants for your life, but you have been stuck in a pattern of disobedience that has been causing distress on the inside and out. Your heart and mind have not matched up with your actions, and you are ready for a change. You are ready for your actions to speak louder than your words in a good way, and truly reflect who you are and who you want to be. If so, now is the time my friend! Harness that will, take ownership of those actions, and move into the obedience that brings hope and freedom and peace.

What do I do now?

So, let’s get straight to the point this week: What are your actions saying about you? What are they shouting to the world around you? Are they saying: look at time, I am abiding and getting as close to Christ as possible and bearing some delicious fruit? Are they screaming: Look at me, I only care about myself and what matters to me, and making money or having success in my life? Are they whispering: please don’t look at me, I do not want to be seen or noticed, I just want to do what I can to get by before I die? Are they not saying anything… just on mute because your actions are really not present; most of the days are spent with your head down and hiding because you are afraid you might fail, afraid to try, afraid that

This week, I encourage you to intertwine the last three secrets we have talked about into your daily life. Grab a sheet (or more) of paper and write down (change the wording if it suits you better) the following:

I am here to bear this fruit… [fill in one or more fruits you are aware of right now].

To bear fruit, I must abide (get as close as I can to Christ) by… [fill in one or more ways you can pursue abiding in your life].

To abide, I must decide to obey (put these thoughts and words into action) by… [fill in one more more ways you will live out your obedience through abiding and bearing fruit this week].

Mine looks a little something like this:

I am here to bear fruit in loving others (my husband, children, and the people around me) and using my gifts in service (through writing, mentoring, and teaching).

To bear these fruits, I must abide by meditating on Scripture, staying in prayer, and reviewing my focus when the evidences of abiding are not present (found this to be very important for an attitude adjustment last week).

To abide in these ways, I must decide to obey by setting aside the first of my day as my time to read Scripture and choose what I want to meditate on, looking for and utilizing opportunities to pray (meals, going to preschool, before naps and bedtime, if anyone is scared or hurt or in need), and prioritizing Monday mornings for my Sabbath rest (in which I review, renew, and refocus for each week).

Once you have written yours out, I encourage you to put it somewhere where you might see it throughout the day. For me, it is currently hanging by a magnet on the fridge in our kitchen because that is where I spend the majority of my time. By writing it out, it allows me (and you) to set a focus and begin the first steps of obedience through a resolve to see these things become a reality. By posting it in a place we can regularly see, it serves as a reminder to take the second step in obedience and actually act upon our intent and resolve. As we resolve and act, resolve and act, and actually live out the obedience… you might be surprised at how everyone starts to take note and things start to change around you (little by little or even big by big)… because as we all know, our actions really do speak louder than our words.♥

 

 

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